--BY MADAN LAMSAL
Looks like the keys to the government are like a hot potato; they just keep falling into the hands of thieves. In the old days, they used to say “A clever thief is the first to cry ‘stop thief!’” But these days, it seems like we’re surrounded by a whole gang of clever crooks!
With the changing times, even thieves have evolved. Gone are the days of scraggly beards and dirty appearances. Nowadays, thieves are clean-shaven fashionistas, rocking designer daura suruwals or outfits and hairstyles that would make even the most stylist socialite jealous. They even carry credit cards and the latest gadgets. But don’t be fooled by their trendy appearance; they are still the sneaky, nocturnal creatures they’ve always been! In fact, back in the day, being a thief without a beard was like being a sushi chef without chopsticks – it just wasn’t done. Also, back in those days, thieves would be just thieves. A thief would neither be a robber nor an extortionist! Every thief would have a special beard of his own kind that would suit the tales of thievery associated with them. And let’s not forget, thieves have always had a love-hate relationship with the moon. A no-moon night was like Christmas for them, but a full-moon? That’s like a giant spotlight shining directly on their criminal activities! Even the scriptures say ‘chauranam chandrma ripuh’or ’the moon is the bane of thieves!”
However, thieves these days are like moths to a flame; they bask in the light while making others fear the darkness! Gone are the days of the silent thief; now they’re more talkative than a telemarketer. It’s hard to tell if it’s a thief or a pickpocket on the loose, especially on public buses. Most of us have definitely used public buses as a means of transport. In these buses, the pickpockets are the first to shout “pickpocket alert!”, causing chaos and confusion as passengers frantically check their pockets. In a while, they leave the bus saying ‘the pickpocket has got off the bus.” Just as you think you’ve caught the culprit, they slip away unnoticed, leaving you to realize that you’ve been robbed! It’s a mystery if they learned this trick from politicians or if politicians learned it from them. Either way, watch your wallets!
These days, to tell a thief, a robber, and a politician apart is like trying to distinguish between a triplet of identical triplets. They all look the same, but one of them is just slightly more dishonest! But you will be making a blunder if you judge them by their looks. Even the so-called ‘great leaders’, ‘great nationalists’, ‘great businessmen’, ‘great social activists’, ‘great journalists’ etc turn out to be nothing more than common crooks in disguise. It’s like trying to figure out which of the three bears is the real Goldilocks. Good luck with that, folks!
In the good old days, the police would be hot on the heels of those pesky thieves. Nowadays, they’re practically BFFs, carpooling together to their next heist! “The police in the thief’s car” is the new hot phrase on the streets. But watch out folks, because this saying is just two sides of the same coin. You can call it “the police in the thief’s car” or “the thief in the police car” and they both mean the same thing!
Gone are the days when thieves would simply steal your wallet and run. Oh no, these modern bandits have truly upped their game. They’ve infiltrated every aspect of society, from the police force to the government and parliament, from business to journalism, and even the legal profession. So, it’s no wonder that when a rookie crook gets caught, they’ve got a whole team of accomplices ready to bail them out. And if some brave officer tries to bring the thief to justice, they’re met with a legion of ‘commissions’ and ‘departments’ ready to silence them. It’s like trying to tell the difference between good and evil is like trying to distinguish a smudged fingerprint – it’s just a blur! Is there a “son of the soil” who can tame these modern master thieves?
