--BY MADAN LAMSAL

According to the World Happiness Report 2017, Nepalis' happiness has increased, compared to last year. The report says – Nepal has jumped from last year's 107th place to 99th place this year on the global happiness index. Ok, so what really happened over the past one year to increase Nepal’s overall happiness level? At first, I found it hard to believe the report. For a while I thought that maybe Nepalis were laughing out loud at some new joke, thus pushing the happiness graph up in the process! However, after thoroughly chewing over it, I came up with the following explanation:     
  
On average, 1,500 Nepalis left the country everyday throughout last year in search of happiness abroad. Those who found happiness there were the lucky ones, but those who didn't returned with the hope of finding it at home. Thus, it seems, their happiness doubled as they went to and fro looking for happiness!  

While measuring the world’s happiness, the firangis have analysed six variables and prepared the report. One variable is GDP per capita. Indeed, Nepalis’ per capita income must have increased compared to last year. Because though the rate of remittance inflow has slowed down, the net amount has not and though the rate of Nepalis going abroad has slowed the net remittance kept increasing. And also, with the large rainfall paddy production was high last year, allowing our rice loving Nepalis to eat more rice increasing their happiness.  

The second variable used to measure happiness happens to be life expectancy. The average life expectancy of Nepalis must have increased too. Because, unlike in the past, these days political parties do not go about killing people. If people are being killed today, then they are by either 'accidental firing' from the neighbour's gun or by drivers of public transport. I am sure the report doesn't account for the deaths of the motorcyclists who kill themselves through reckless driving. And whoever’s left over, they’re being killed by the dust, smoke and pollution. Then it can be guessed that as the death rate has decreased so the average life expectancy has increased automatically!     
   
Freedom is another variable that the report uses to measure happiness. I strongly feel that we Nepalis will get the highest marks in the world for freedom. Especially the present generation of Nepalis is the most free in history. Today, children are free to disobey their parents. Students are free to disobey their teachers. Employees are free not to listen to their bosses. It's only natural that the Opposition doesn't listen to the government while the government is free to disregard court orders. Things like rules and regulations, values and norms and duties and responsibilities no more bind anyone. In today's Nepal, everyone is so free that no one listens to anyone. Everyone is free to do whatever they like. So, no wonder if Nepali's scored well on the variable of freedom.  

Another variable that the report uses to measure happiness is the freedom from corruption. Indeed, after CIAA's Lokman became Jokeman, either corruption must have decreased in Nepal, or it could be that those who prepared the happiness report somehow missed the massive corruption in the country.  

Generosity is the final variable used by the report. Nepalis are bound to get the highest marks on this variable as they are known for their generosity. For example, they have been generously handing their natural resources including manpower and womanpower is an example of their generosity that they don't say anything even when their neighbours encroach upon their borders!     

It would have been difficult to believe such a report if it was prepared by Nepalis living in Nepal for Nepalis. But since this report was prepared scientifically by a US-based institution, I have to believe it. On top of everything else, the report was released at the UN Headquarters! How then is it possible for me not to believe this report? As always, as Nepalis we have a tendency to believe what foreigners tell us than what we tell us ourselves.

So, congratulations to all of us, all for one and one for all Nepalis, for being happier than last year!