--By Madan Lamsal
Enterprise Corruption is the most profitable business venture in current Nepal. Despite its high rate of return potentials, there were hardly any courses offered to formally train the future corrupts. So far, untrained corrupts are on the act and their income is just limited to several hundred of millions rupees and concentration is mainly in public service and black marketing. This newly established National Open Corruption Institute of Nepal (NO-CIN), the first of its kind institution in the world, is expected to fill in this knowledge gap in corruption expertise by producing fresh manpower who will capable of clandestinely closing billion rupee deals to sell like of Nepal’s Dharahara in New Delhi and Chomolongoma in Beijing.
Here is the Admission notice for upcoming academic year:
National Open Corruption Institute of Nepal (NO-CIN)Invites Applications for 4 Years Undergraduate Bachelors Degree in Corruption (BDC) Earn your BDC from the World’s Only Institute for Corruption Studies Our Comprehensive Syllabus includes: Financial Theory and Practice -Special Course on Capital Flight: How to send money through Hundi and remain undetected by authorities? - How to execute the most scary ‘donation campaign’ to run a political party? -How to evade different taxes? Guest lectures by senior tax officials with years of experience on the trade in collusion with the private sector. -Twenty-first century approach on theory and application of popular bribe concepts and methods like Chiya Pani, Daru Pani, Chhyakan, Parcel, Change, Gift , Color TV, Foreign Trip and the ever popular Children’s School Fees. - Many sessions on money laundering skills and internship on evading anti-laundering laws. Insfracture & Real Estate Business - Course on speculation on property without investing even a penny. - Methods for getting the contracts by hook or by crook – A practical approach - Presentations by land hoarders on how to overvalue the property and coalise with banks. Law and Order Module - Learn how to use or misuse the police and media - How to get fake passport/educational certificates in 10 minutes? - Learn how not to get arrested and get bail superfast if ever arrested Political Science Course - New methods for announcing Bandha, strike, transportation halt, etc. - Full study in Contemporary Bus Burning. New age exciting methods for Instantaneous Bus Combustion - demo by disciples of Mao & Lenin - Actual rioting demonstrations under the expert tutelage of Dr Baidya - Shooting by hooting – a special class by the speech bomb K P Oli - Skills on speaking lies without changing the facial expression - How to provide immediate citizenship to foreigners and still maintain “patriot - Brand new course on finding new havens to take money when Swiss banks plan to break the secrecy of their account holders.
Rules for Enrolment - 33% reservation for wards of politicians of all hues - 33% reservation also for the government employees - Ordinary people, relatives their supporters are barred from entry! - Those who are in business are levied 200% premium - Preferences to those with criminal background!!!
CONTACT FOR ADMISSION: NO-CIN Singha Durbar, Prachanda Durbar, Balkhu Darbar, Sanepa Durbar, Baluwatar Durbar, House of One Madhesh One Province Group of Companies Terai Unlimited |
