--By Madan Lamsal

First of all, may you get to drink as much whiskey, vodka and beer as you want throughout this year! Going by the advertisements seen these days in the Nepali newspapers and the bottles of various liquor brands in almost every chowk, aisle and shop, it’s a given that this wish will be accomplished for sure.

If an earthquake should come, may it be such as to destroy everything at once. They say dying at once is better than dying in doses.  So, let’s not hope for those annoying small shocks just to keep terrifying us.

May corruption get institutionalised through policies! The logic is, you can then at least make a guess when things are no longer behind the curtains.

May the small as well as big goons inside all political parties get a bigger and bigger hand in running the government! So that in the name of taming them, the bribery in the business of the CIAA, administration and police, and in the name of curbing corruption, the showbiz of many NGOs, INGOs comes to an end and the state coffers are saved from a big strain.    

Only 75 per cent of the country’s young manpower is leaving for abroad; may that reach 100 percent soon! After all, ‘one home, one job’ is one of the government’s favourite slogans these days. To implement this slogan, may at least one person from each home mandatorily go for employment abroad at his own expense! If not, may the employment minister forcefully drag at least one person from each home, put them in a plane and send them to exile! That will bring more remittance to the country! 

May the line of those queuing up for LPG cylinders be longer than those waiting for their pitchers to be filled with drinking water and may the line of those seeking a job be longer than both! May the queue of those lining up from Mechi in the east, to Mahakali in the West, for passports to go abroad be even longer! May a line longer than this one be the line of Nepalis crowding the Nepali embassies abroad with their baggage of problems! The idea being that your own pain lessens the moment you see a line longer than yours!  

May the number of those opening political parties in the country increase even more! And may there be more leaders than cadres so that we don’t face a leadership vacuum like now! 

May the aspirants for posts like ministers and prime minister keep rising. Instead of the current trend of a new government every nine months on average, may the country see a new government every month! Because the country currently needs innovation and new change.

Currently a huge discrimination exists between those who abide by the rule of law and those who don’t. So may the market completely go into the hands of the black marketers! If this is done, everyone will get an equal opportunity to compete with each other. 

Like a job change and sex change, may changing religion, too, be eased through law! Because the number of people wanting to keep changing things is increasing day by day in this country.

Yes! May all your dreams or nightmares, depending on which side of the bed you lie on when you sleep, come true.

My friend, wake up now! This is New Year 2073!